Like Shrek and Fiona
by starkid394
Summary: just a little story aboutthe people i freakin love! what happens when the guys show up and "kidnap" Lauren! What hilarious shenanigans and misadventures will our Starkids get into? what about a new show! LaurWalk, Bereideth! Rated T for future swears and look, I finally got a title!
1. Chapter 1

AN: So, I absolutely adore Team Starkid, and I've been dying to write an RL fic forever, but this is my first one, so please be kind I don't own Starkid, or even know them. This is all fiction written for my amusement.

Lauren sat anxiously at her computer. Refresh. Nothing. Refresh. Damn it. Sighing, she looked longingly at her Pottermore home screen. Still no new chapters in Chamber of Secrets. Thinking this would be less frustrating with food (because she's Lauren Freakin' Lopez, everything is better with food) she got up and grabbed an apple, thinking to herself "Maybe playing Draco is rubbing off on me…."

She lost herself in thought, staring into space, thinking about Harry Potter and the world it opened up to her. Three knocks on the door, then someone going "Lauren" Three more knocks. "Lauren" Three more and one last "Lauren" made her roll her eyes at her friends. Opening the door to find Joe, Joey, Dylan, Brolden, Brosenthal, JoMo, Tyler, and Darren all grinning at her.

"What are you guys doing here" she asked warily, with these guys, nothing went well.

JoMo casually grabbed his video camera and started recording right as the other guys chorused "Kidnapping you"

This was going to get interesting…

AN: Sorry for the shortie, just getting started , not exactly sure where this is going…. And bwhahahaha, cliffhanger!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: well, I have no idea what to say, but I feel like I need an author's note….Unicorns-Real or Not Real? (correct answer-real, they are just hiding with narwhals because like centaurs, too, they are a dying breed and don't want humans to speed it up, they cannot breed because they have no females and humans can't survive breeding with them, except Umbridge, she's pretty BA)

Lauren's eyes widened and she tried running back into her apartment, knowing anything to do with these guys would not be good. Unfortunately, being five feet tall and having even Darren Criss, aka the Hobbit, be taller than her made her easy to overpower. Walker grabbed her around the waist and held her still while Joey pulled out a sleeping mask to use as a blindfold while JoMo used a very familiar red bandana (hhmmm, wonder where that's from? *she says sarcastically*) as a gag. Trying to scream, she really started freaking out now. Calmly, though, Walker just carried her over his shoulder, to the car, and, ignoring weird looks from passerby, tossed her in. Behind him, seeing Walker carry Lauren, Darren muttered to Joey "It's like Sherk and Fiona, I wonder how long until those two end up with their owns little monsters and crap" "No idea, but it better be soon, it's getting boring waiting on them to hook up"

Struck with an evil idea, Darren rounded all the other guys up, with a sinister grin, "I have an idea that might make, as the fans call it, Laurwalk, happen faster."

AN:DUN DUN DUUNNNN! Sorry, I have a biit of a cliffhanger habit! Where are they taking Lauren? What's Darren's plan? Or is it so elusive that even Darren doesn't know? Darren doesn't know! Oh no! well, plenty of drama and Starkid love coming soon and maybe even a longer chapter, once I get to the real action


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Hiiiiiii! You all probably forgot about me, sorry! School starting tends to consume my life at first, slowly sucking away my soul and my creativity, until I get to be around my friends enough and it's back :D so, while I can't promise I won't go and do the same thing again, I'll try not to!

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The guys unceremoniously dumped Lauren in the back of the van they had rented for the occasion. Their plan was to simply scare her, before driving to meet the Lang's and find out the cast list for the next show. However, having all of these funny little Starkids together tends to make plans change.

Joey glanced at Darren, smirking, and said, "Dude! It's been almost 2 hours since I last ate, we have to stop real quick. I need Redvines and a giant Hershey's, stat." Grinning, as to not act too suspicious and attract the smarticle Walker's suspicion, he offered "I have some Squirt, if you want some" "UGH! Not Squirt, only you like that shit, I'd rather stay dehydrated, besides, I need FOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!"

"JOEY IF YOU WILL SHUT THE HELL UP WE'LL STOP!" Walker yelled, annoyed at his friends whiny tone.

They stopped at a gas station, where Joey then insisted he needed help picking out the right food, and the other guys decided kidnapping an armed, 5 foot, 90 pound ("but she had 12 pounds of shit in her stomach" they like to argue) girl was hard work and they needed food, too. Leaving Lauren inside the car, still bound and gagged, they went inside.

All except for Darren, who snuck back out, grinning, and whispering in her ear, "this whole thing was Walker's idea, want some payback?"

AN: wow, I think I have a cliffy fetish…. Oh well, hope you enjoyed it! (Sorry the chapters have been so short, I hate writing super long ones!) Well, Reviews make me smile, and the make unicorns dance on rainbows while eating Redvines and pissing on *insert hated book that will not be named in my story here* love you guys!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: well, sorry for the delays-I've been severely lacking in the romance department as of late, however, I could probably write plenty of evil stories that get the men in white coats called on me…..again. (and to my friends that have found my secret identity and are reading this, you know who I'm talking about, let me be a little evil, don't be alarmed if I have a bunch of violent deaths written, it's how I vent) so yeah, time to get on with what ya'll care about-the story!

Lauren's eyes lit up. "I'm in"

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A while later, the guys all piled back in, Walker grinning and humming, he loved making Lauren mad, the way her eyes got brighter, the light flush on her cheeks, the way she seemed to grow twice her size and look intimidating. Pretty much, she was beautiful, and a little terrifying. Screw it, a LOT terrifying. Not that he would ever admit it, but he felt himself falling for her, she was his is best friend. Sure, they argued a lot, but he loved it. Every second they talked, argued, teased, sang, rehearsed, he lived for it. He loved Starship because he always got to hold her, to be with her. He loved feeling those tin arms wrapped around him, the stupid accent she loved to talk him, just to annoy him. She made him crazy at times, the way her and Holden goofed around so much the fans started shipping them. Brolden was his best friend, and he knew how he felt about Meredith, so he knew not to worry, but it still bugged him when so many people asked for pictures of them being romantic, they hated letting fans down. Every time he saw those kind of things, a jealousy tore through him, to quote Joey "and I get these pains in my chest and I know it's her fault, that bitch" not that he would ever call Lauren a bitch. Well, not and mean it.

Pondering all this, he glanced back; expecting to see Laurens pissed off eyes glaring into his own, he saw she was missing. Nearly swerving off the road, he started flipping out. "Why didn't anyone tell me she was gone? This is bad! She could be hurt, she's so tiny!" Joey glanced at him cautiously, "we were trying to tell you, but you were off in dreamland thinking about all the naughty things you could do with her tied up" unable to keep a straight face by then end, the other guys started cracking up. At this point, Joe had to actually pull over to calm down before he decked Joey, why was he the only worried about her? This wasn't like them, normally they'd be just as worried about their tiny friend, and he knew Joey made jokes when he was scared, but really? Now? With Lauren gone to who-knows-where? Frowning at Joey, he tried to regain composure before he lost it. Seeing the real worry in his eyes, the others tried to reassure him.

"Look, Joe, most likely she went all ninja on us and jumped out, then probably had to shit, 12 pounds is a lot to carry in your stomach." Tyler said, and Joe was tempted to ask him not to talk, the reflection of his teeth was distracting. In the chaos, he didn't notice a certain curly head missing from the group.

Still worried, he restarted the van.

"Where are we going?"

"To rehearsals, we need to send up a full red alert; we need the others for this"

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Still chuckling, Darren turned to Lauren "how do think Joe will take me kidnapping his kidnap victim?"

"At least I can't be blamed, I'm simply being kidnapped"

"He's not going to be happy with me for taking you"

"Well, I'm not happy with him for kidnapping me in the first place"

"Oh please, you loved it"

"Yeah right, Hobbit"

"Will you two just shut up and date already?"

"Why am I suddenly regretting doing this?"

AN: Well, who doesn't love writing a romance when their own love life sucks? Sorry for being so whiny, just not at my best at the moment, but I will continue for my nonexistent fans!


	5. Chapter 5

Hi! Please don't hate me for not updating sooner, and I'm sorry if you thought this was a new chapter! I've had serious writers block, I have an idea of where I want this to go, but I am not just uploading this to make excuses! I have a favor/mission for you. I was hoping one of you amazing people would want to co-write with me to finish this story. Just PM me if interested

MUST HAVE:

-Proper grammar/spelling (biggest pet peeve is bad spelling and grammar)

-Knowledge of Team Starkid (need my babies to be as in character as possible)

That's about it…. Please don't hate me for not updating for so long! Again, is interested PM me and we can discuss! Thanks!


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